By KATHRYN BERMINGHAM
NOTE: The Press Council upheld a complaint about this article. Read the full adjudication here.
ESTELLE Dryden thinks about her stepson Cooper all the time.
The 15-year-old would have loved Nutella donuts, adored his baby brother and was passionate about rap music.
Like every family affected by suicide, life will never be the same again for the Drydens. They lost Cooper on 19 November last year, left only with photos and special memories of their son and brother.
Now, they’re raising awareness in the hope that other families won’t ever find themselves in their situation.
On 13 September, Estelle and her daughter Jacqui will host the ‘Out of the Shadows and into the Light’ walk at Emerald Lake Park.
The Lifeline event is to allow people to show their support in preventing suicide and remember those lost, although Cooper is always on the minds of Estelle and Jacqui.
“We got a knock on the door last November,” Estelle recalls.
“Alix (Cooper’s sister) and I had been Christmas shopping. We had got all the Christmas presents and started wrapping them.
“We opened the door and the police were there. That was just devastating.”
2014 had been a difficult year for the family. Adam, Estelle’s husband and Cooper’s dad, had lost his milk distribution business and been forced to declare bankruptcy, causing the family to lose their Emerald home.
The worst was yet to come. In August of 2014, Adam suffered a stroke putting the family under further pressure. Cooper went to live with him mum in Boronia and experienced relentless bullying online and at school. He was expelled from Emerald Secondary College in September.
One weekend in November, Cooper overdosed on his ADHD medication and was admitted to the Angliss Hospital but released after one night. The family were doing all they could to support him through a tumultuous time.
“My husband, although he’d had the stroke, was trying to do as much as he could with him.
“On his way home from work that Wednesday he’d popped into the house, taken him a Slurpee and had a chat.
“He left Cooper at about 4.30 and by the time his mum got home at 6pm he was gone.”
Cooper’s passion for rap music had made him the target of bullying for some time, however Estelle was unaware of full extent of the harassment.
“We didn’t know it was as bad as it was. He had put something on Facebook about wanting to kill himself, but he’d done that so many times before that the kids were saying ‘well go ahead and do it.’
“It was bad when I was growing up, but now with mobile phones it’s at home as well. It never ends.
“The police have got his phone and are going through all the messages. Some of it was really bad.”
Estelle says help for Cooper was adequate, but more needs to be done to educate teenagers on the effects of bullying and the finality of suicide.
“I think they need to understand that this decision is forever, it’s not something you can come back from and I was sort of hoping that the kids would see how devastated our family is.
“I’m sure if Cooper was thinking differently and he thought about that he wouldn’t have done it, he wouldn’t have done it to us.
“Suicide should be spoken about. If kids can’t understand how final it is then I don’t think they can really understand the consequences.
Last Friday, Adam, Estelle and Jacqui had semicolons tattooed on their wrists to support the suicide prevention movement. The tattoo symbolises a place where a sentence could end, but the author has chosen to keep writing.
After everything they’ve been through, Estelle says things are finally looking up.
“We’ve been through hell. We lost the business, went bankrupt, lost the house, lost everything.
“It’s been a long road but things are finally getting better.”
Her message to young people experiencing difficult times would be to take slow.
“Take it day by day. Just one more day.
“That’s what’ we’re doing.”
‘Out of the Shadows and into the Light’ will be held on 13 September from 10am at Emerald Lake Park. For more information or to register, visit www.outoftheshadows.org.au.
Those in need of immediate assistance can phone Lifeline on 13 11 14.
