By Russell Bennett
Exactly a week ago marked six months since Shaun Ross took his own life. He was just 22.
The lovable larrikin who’d give the shirt off his own back to anyone in need made an unforgettable impact on anyone close to him, and thousands across the south east will never quite be the same again. They won’t get to hear his laugh again, or see his smile, or simply confide in one of life’s good guys.
Shaun had a heart of gold, but his was a troubled life from a young age.
Yet through the darkness of his passing, there is a light – one that will shine in his honour on 16 July.
The Hampton Park Junior Football Club – the former home of a talented young Shaun – will hold its second ever ‘Legends Game’, welcoming a host of its favourite sons back to the fold.
But this year, it carries much more significance, serving as a way to honour Shaun and direct the spotlight onto suicide prevention among young people.
The day will be held in partnership with Mindfull Australia, a suicide prevention charity founded by Shaun’s great friend, and former club-mate at the Cora Lynn Football Netball Club, Matt Runnalls.
Mindfull’s purpose is to encourage those affected by mental health battles to come out of the shadows of stigma through self-acceptance and education of the wider community.
At the time he founded Mindfull, Matt was a 24-year-old tradie who played country footy. He had no real financial worries, his professional life was in order, and he had a strong network of family and friends. But since he was 17 he battled severe anxiety and depression, which led to several suicide attempts.
Up until late last year, Shaun was a constant source of inspiration to Matt through his journey with Mindfull.
“I don’t think anyone ever really got the destined talent out of him that we all knew he had,” Matt said.
“It’s not just a cliché that people say when someone passes – he literally would give you the shirt off his back.
“Even when he was struggling, his attitude to fighting his mental illness and his demons is something that still drives me.
“His response to constantly being down and out but wanting to get past that and beat it was really moving and inspiring – not only to me, but to so many other people.
“He was a character – he was a bit of a ratbag like we all are – but he meant really well.”
Chris Adair, the president of the Hampton Park Junior Football Club, said there was one particularly telling moment at Shaun’s funeral in November.
“His parents noticed a change in him when he was 10,” he said.
“I’ve got an 11-year-old son, and that really hit home with me – to think that he might be struggling and I may not know about it.”
So, the Redbacks and Mindfull have joined forces in an effort to shine a light on the mental health battles facing so many youngsters in each and every local community. Their battles are often fought silently behind closed doors, and often alone.
“There’s a lot behind the scenes that people don’t understand – especially in the macho environment of a football club,” Matt said.
“Hopefully a few more people like Shaun who’re experiencing what he did – in some dark places with some dark feelings and thoughts – can see it as a real opportunity to speak up and get the help they need, or at least feel comfortable talking to people at their football club or patting someone on the shoulder.
“It’s just about making people feel comfortable and having the courage to speak up and say there’s nothing wrong with being down in the dumps – the only shame is with people who mock a pain they’ve never endured or experienced.
“It’s so important we get the message across to people of a young age and break down the barriers.
“The journey is much easier travelled when you share it with someone else, rather than trying to carry it all on your own shoulders.
“There’s still a lot of stigma around, but the more people who put their hands up the easier it’ll be for the next person to speak up. We just need people to lead the way and events like this are perfect for that.”
In his presentations to sporting and community clubs, not just throughout Victoria but internationally, Matt often speaks of the ‘ripple effect’ of suicide.
“Nobody ever wants to lose anyone to suicide, but there are some positives that can come from a horrible situation – there are people who’ll have a better understanding and will be much more aware of what to say to people, and will be more mindful of what people experience and go through,” he said.
Chris emphasised the importance of genuinely listening to, and empathising with young people in their times of need – particularly when they often can’t articulate just what they’re feeling.
“For the Hampton Park Junior Football Club to be doing something like this and investing their time in kids’ welfare more than what’s happening on the field is a great thing and is so much more important than the game itself,” Matt added.
On 16 July from 3pm, former Hampton Park players and a whole host of people close to Shaun will don a special Redbacks jumper featuring his initials and the number 15 – his number in his days in the red and black.
After the game there’ll be a sit-down dinner, and a presentation from Matt on suicide awareness. There’ll also be one other feature on the day – a balloon release, to remember all those in the community lost to suicide.
“I think it’d be a real eye-opener to see just how many balloons do get released,” Matt said.
“It’s pretty rare to walk anywhere these days and start the conversation and talk to anyone who hasn’t felt the loss of a friend, or who doesn’t know someone who’s struggling or living with a mental illness.”
Tickets to the dinner are limited, while entry to the legends game will be a gold coin donation, or $5 per car with all proceeds going to Mindfull.
For more information on the event email hpjfc-secretary@live.com.au or call Chris on 0400 622 773.
Anyone needing help can contact Lifeline on 13 11 14, beyondblue on 1300 22 4636, Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800, or Mindfull at www.facebook.com/mindfullaus.
