It’s been a long journey for Pakenham’s MILES WADE to feel comfortable in his own skin. The 16-year-old hopes by sharing his story in his own words, the community will learn to show kindness and acceptance to other kids going through the same thing. Miles’ greatest support has been his mum, SIMONE WADE. Together mother and son tell their story in this special two part People In Profile.
I am Miles and this is my story.
I grew up as a normal child. From age one, two, three all the way until seven years of age, nothing spectacular happened, nothing terrible happened. Until I started to “change” as most people say.
I have always aspired to be just like my older brother. I mean, who wouldn’t? He’s smart, good looking and kind. So, things that he did, I did too.
We argued about who was better out of Batman and Superman, kicked the football, wrestled and yelled.
Back then I went by a different name, and everyone called me a ‘girl’ because that’s what they saw.
From grade two until grade five I hung out with the rest of the ‘boys.’ I had my hair short because no one cared how you looked or felt back then and I wore stereotypical ‘boy’ clothes.
As I got older, people started seeing a boy and not a girl, whispers went around and confusion started. The whispers got louder and my choices seemed no longer ‘acceptable’.
I didn’t fit the stereotype that society had created. Slowly they cut away at me until I resembled a shape that made sense and sliced away the parts of me that made me different.
So after grade 5 I walked around with these metaphorical scars on my body, trying to fit in to how I was meant to look and act.
You could say I was the best actor in the world. No one had a doubt. But these scars started to hurt and I was becoming more and more like everybody else. I wasn’t allowed to like the things I used to. I wasn’t allowed to be ME.
Day after day I knew exactly what was wrong but couldn’t say anything.
Until I did. I just got up in the middle of the night and told my parents that I hated what I looked like and how people saw me. Immediately they knew exactly what I meant.
They saw that little boy who had been their son since he was born. He just had trouble realising that.
After explaining to everyone I knew how I felt, almost everybody was super supportive and knew what to say. They didn’t bat an eye on who I was.
After all these years of pretending, I was mostly happy, finally being seen as me and not the cookie cutter copy.
I still had some issues about how I looked though. Being 16 and not being able to make these changes myself, it was an actual life saver to have the family and friends that I have.
In just a few weeks after showing people who I was, I was going through the right puberty. Slowly, things I hated about myself were fading. I was growing back the pieces of myself that society has shaven off.
I knew what the next step was but another hurdle was thrown my way.
I was walking down the street one afternoon just going down to the shops. I was a boy and I looked like one but some parts on me didn’t at that point. A man saw me and obviously didn’t agree. He yelled slurs at me and chased me down the street. Seconds went by and suddenly I was pinned against a wall with my head being bashed in by a grown man. In broad daylight.
Soon I was at the hospital and recovering. Now more than ever, I needed some things to change. Another month or two went by and I was booked in for surgery. A safe way to help me look how I was meant to look.
A lot of people disagreed with this and asked my parents “How could you let him do this?” “Isn’t he too young?” But they never listened, they knew what I needed and we were off to the operating room. Four hours later I was out and the happiest I have ever been. Since then, I have never had a second doubt about who I was or how I should look.
Today I am happy just being me. To the people reading this who still don’t think that who I am is ok, and that someone so young shouldn’t have such scars and surgeries, just know these physical scars will fade and heal, but the ones society gave me over years of hiding and pretending my real identity will never truly leave me.
It is these scars that have given me the courage, strength, and constant reminder to always me true to me and live my best life.
I am who I am, and I couldn’t have done it without the people who I had to support me.
And now, even though I still debate on who is better out of Batman and Superman, I know who the real heroes and villains are in the world.
