Real Housewives of Melbourne
Arena
Sunday, 8.30pm
LET ME introduce you to the Real Housewives of Melbourne.
First we have potty-mouthed Jackie – a psychic with a rock star husband who loves making fun of the posh ’Toorak’ friends, while sipping on expensive champagne and flashing her princess cut, one of a kind 91999 carat diamond jewellery.
Next we have Andrea, a business mum with three nannies, a million checklists, a face modified by her world-renowned plastic surgeon husband Dr Chris Moss, two homes and we can’t forget her $45,000 tennis court.
Her bestie is Lydia, a sophisticated yet kinky trophy wife who owns a private jet, and that’s about it.
Lawyer Gina, is sister of fashion designer Bettina Liano and is a Rue Paul look-alike who isn’t shy about her love of glitter, short-skirts, fake tan and bronzer.
Then there is cougar Janet, a 101-year-old divorcee who has presumably spent a fortune at Dr Moss’s office and is trying to relive her youth through high heels, toy boys and nightclubs.
And lastly we have Chyka, who was obviously chosen by the producers to be a diplomatic mediator during all cattiness.
Now let’s get to the show. It’s 10 episodes of bitchiness at its bitchiest.
There is not much of a story line, except that everyone has money, throws lavish parties and gossips. While the unbelievable lifestyles of the rich and (I use this term loosely) famous is mildly entertaining, the way the women bully poor Gina is cringe-worthy and enough to make you reach for the remote.
I am not proud to admit I continued to watch the show despite its immature brutality but, hey, the Real Housewives brand didn’t get famous for following the lives of house-cleaning, church-going, Tarago-driving soccer mummas.
Instead it thrives on debauchery, superficialness and wild catfights and I, admittedly, got sucked in and am quietly awaiting season two.
– Lia Spencer
