Smokeys, GOAT’s & changes

Is Ash Barty our best female athlete, or does Sam Kerr take the prize...the boys disagree this week. 265957 Picture: AAP IMAGES

TYLER: Let’s Talk Sport; my turn this week boys. I have given you more time, usually I go right off the cuff, but you’ve given me a good talking to about that, Dave, so plenty of notice this week.

The first topic this week, a local angle, the cricket season is heating up. This one will be tough for you, Lachie, only starting last week, but I want league medal smokey’s from both of you.

It’s the cheeky all-rounders that get 2fa and 30 every week in the one-day format that are consistent pollers, who have you got, Dave?


DAVE: I don’t think this bloke is a smokey anymore, but a bloke called Karanvir Singh from Cranbourne Meadows, who made 142 in his first game, had a quiet patch, everyone thought he was a one-hit-wonder, but then he came up with a 90-odd last week and backed it up with another ton on the weekend. He’s numbers are now suggesting he’s the best in the business this season.

TYLER: There is nine votes right there!

DAVE: Yep that’s nine votes right there, but I did a story in the paper last week, and there’s a veteran from Kooweerup called Matt Davey, he’s 46, he’s made about 90 runs and taken six wickets for the year, but when he makes them… they count!

I had him on top in my league medal count last week, before this weekend’s round of matches, that would be an unbelievable story if a 46-year-old won the league medal.

TYLER: Has he won one before?

DAVE: Buggered if I know…let me check it out (Update: has won a B Grade medal).

TYLER: Lachie, tough for you, but you have one in the Mornington Peninsula Cricket Association (MPCA), although he isn’t much of a smokey these days is he?

LACHIE: Yeah it’s hard to go by Rhys Elmi from Baden Powell; he has taken 14 wickets and made 252 runs, you would be very stiff to miss out with those numbers.

But the smokey I have in mind is the great Simon Dart, still dominating at Red Hill. He tops the league for runs and in his last two weeks has made a century and a 90 odd. He has won about five MPCA league medals, but not one in the Provincial competition yet. Don’t know if he is a smokey anymore, but he won’t be short of votes come league medal night.

TYLER: There is a couple in one of my main competitions. The DDCA, the famous Wookey Medal.

One bloke that featured in the paper last week was Jordy Wyatt, I think he might’ve polled two best afield’s in his last four games so he might sneak up there, I think you could sneak votes for being a good bloke and he’s a good man.

But there is another I think might be ahead of him and that’s Kusan Nirinjana from St. Mary’s. An all-rounder, he has taken 15 wickets at 15 and made 150 at 38. He might not get a heap of three-vote-games, but he will poll a lot and I think he might accumulate enough to win it.

We will move on to the second topic… we talk about greatest athletes a lot, we love ‘GOAT’ talk. I want to discuss the best current Australian female athlete. I am removing Olympian Emma McKeon, she is in a league of her own.

Dave, I will go to you first, I have a comparison for you.

They’ve performed pretty well in recent weeks, but who are you taking….


DAVE: I am not a massive tennis fan, and I must admit football, or soccer, I only love watching the big games.

To me it feels more important for a women’s soccer player to be dominating on the world stage than it does tennis, I think more people love soccer. I know tennis is global, but soccer is the world game apparently, as Lachie mentioned in ‘LTS’ last week.

I would go Sam Kerr, because I feel proud that we have the number-one soccer player in the world.

TYLER: Does your opinion change in a week if Barty takes out the home Grand Slam? She will probably do the classic Aussie ‘shoey’ if she wins it!

DAVE: If I had to pick one of them to go have a beer with, it would probably be Ash Barty. Nothing against Sam, but Ash just strikes me as a down to earth, ripping chick, who would go play nine holes of golf in the morning, go for a parma at the pub for lunch and then whack down ten pots.

TYLER: I don’t disagree with a word you just said!

DAVE: But if she ticks off the Australian Open, she is only one win away from taking out all Grand Slam’s. I think when she ticks that off, I would change my mind if she does that.

TYLER: Alright Lachie, you’re the football expert here, have you been swayed to Kerr?

LACHIE: Unfortunately not, I have to go with Ash Barty on this. She wins the French (Roland Garros), wins Wimbledon, she is a really good role model for the Indigenous community, beautiful person.

She presented the cup at the Richmond 2020 Grand Final, so that gives her extra credit.

DAVE: That doesn’t count!

LACHIE: And her court form is brilliant, beautiful forehand, beautiful backhand. She was tested on the weekend; she got over the result there. Sam Kerr is a very good player, scored five against Indonesia.

I have another name though to watch out for though… Mary Fowler, she is in the Australian team right now, she is very young (23), she is a very good player. She could be the next person in this discussion.

She starts a lot of games on the bench, but will get more game time. She scored in the Olympics, watch out for her.

DAVE: One more thing on Barty, against Amanda Anisimova (fourth round opponent), other players hit the ball so hard, but Ash Barty just manipulates the players, she doesn’t hit the ball as hard, but she out thinks her opponents.

I do love watching her because she has strategy; it isn’t just power with her.

LACHIE: Yeah she isn’t like a Steffi Graf, she isn’t going to wipe anyone off the court, but she knows what to do. I look forward to the rest of the Open and what the future holds for her.

DAVE: Alright, what about you, Tyler?

TYLER: I am going with the ‘Barty Party’. Although when Sam Kerr dropped that pitch invader, that was absolutely hilarious. That is probably something Barty would do too.

When you’re sponsored by Vegemite, you’re just an instant Aussie icon.

LACHIE: Didn’t she put Vegemite on a parma?

TYLER: I don’t know about that, actually, we might have to move on because if I hear any more about that I might change my mind.

DAVE: I will definitely change my mind if Ash Barty wins the Open and does a Sam Kerr style backflip over the net to shake hands with her opponent…

TYLER: Hmm I don’t think she has that in her, Dave.


We will move on to the final topic, Lachie and I had a bit of a heated discussion at the desk earlier about this one. If you were head of the International Cricket Committee, what rules would you change?

DAVE: Leg byes! (said with a noticeable amount of disgust)

TYLER: Leg byes?

DAVE: Get rid of them, you have a bat in your hand, if you don’t hit the ball you shouldn’t score runs.

Your team doesn’t deserve to score runs if you’re not good enough to hit the ball.

TYLER: I was of the same opinion last year, but then my team won the grand final off the last ball of the game with a leg bye. I have since changed my mind.

Lachie, what is yours?

LACHIE: For me it is umpires call or soft calls on the field.

We’re seeing more athleticism from fielders – especially on the boundary – and umpires are making calls whether the fielder has touched the rope 60 or 80 metres away. You also have 100 cameras going around now, just let the third umpire make the call.

Also, the umpires call on the DRS (Decision Referral System), if it’s hitting the wickets, it’s hitting the wickets. If it’s hitting the stumps, it’s out. If it’s not, it’s not out. We saw another one last night in the Big Bash, Uzzie Khawaja and Fuzzy Ahmed, umpire had to make a call and they stuck with that call.

Let the third umpire make the call, take some extra time if need be.

TYLER: Does that just eliminate the purpose of the umpire? We don’t use them anymore for no ball calls, if this comes into play doesn’t that just make the umpire obsolete?

LACHIE: I think the end result is to get the right outcome, whether that is out or not out, so I think if we’re removing the umpires call on the tougher decisions – there is a lot of clear cut ones where the DRS isn’t needed – so I think moving forward just remove the umpires call for the ones that go upstairs.

TYLER: Alright Dave, brace yourself, mine are outrageous.

I HATE pitching outside leg! If you’re stone cold in front, pad blown off, hitting middle without touching leg or off, you don’t deserve to be protected by the 10 inch lane of freedom down the middle of the pitch.

Lachie hates that one, but the other one he REALLY didn’t like is I think pink ball should be full-time in Test cricket. It eliminates the loss of bad light, but I think it also makes for a result in every Test, if you lose half a day to rain, you could play into night.

I understand that’s unfair for the team that bats under lights, but we could take a look at it.

We would’ve got a result in Sydney, Steve Smith wouldn’t have had to bowl and Pat Cummins would’ve finished the job.

LACHIE: I think Michael Douglas said this in Wall Street: ‘greed is good’.

Cash is king and I think broadcasters will want to know when the fall of play is, don’t think we can fluctuate times.

I can’t agree with you on that one, Tyler.

DAVE: I think a highlight of this summer has been the pitches. MCG was two days and 70 minutes, I know about the 70 minutes, it cost me $1 a minute.

I think it is more exciting when the bowlers have a chance.

I hope when they are thinking of rule changes, they don’t think of everything being a tradition. The game has changed, bats are bigger, boundaries are closer, the odd change or two wouldn’t effect the history of the game.

TYLER: How did we go with LTS this week, guys?

DAVE: Yep I am happy with that! I think you’ve had a bit too much sun on the weekend, your leg side theory is proof of that…but otherwise pretty good!